Everyone has at least one deal breaker when it comes to relationships. I have five; comprised of essential and realistically common sense expectations that I believe anyone can heed. They are, in no particular order as follows:
Consent: if you're the type of motherfucker that likes to tell a bitch what to do because it makes you feel more of a "man" and or you refuse to make room for autonomy in our relationship then get the fuck out because it ain't working between us.
Cigarettes: If you're the type of motherfucker that likes to light up it won't matter how nice you are, if you don't quit then you and I are not a fit, so get the fuck out.
Children: if you're the type of motherfucker who does not foresee having kids in your future then I'm sorry to say my ovaries have no room for you. Plus, with the deal breaker above, you ain't smoking around my kids, so get the fuck out.
Cunnilingus: now, here's a major deal breaker, if you're the type of motherfucker that refuses to go down on your girl, or refuses to do it how she likes, then Certainly with a capital C we ain't ever gonna be, so get the fuuuuuuuuuuuuck out.
Cheating: If you're a dumbass motherfucker trying to play the field like you at the super bowl, bragging about how many women you can string up then you better believe I'll be shanking the shit out of you, so do me a favor and get the fuck out and make room for the non-cheating people. Thank you!
failure to comply to these simple, and doable rule is grounds for automatic disqualification, this means whatever game you think you were playing, you ain't playing anymore, and don't try to play your cards with a bluff because poker faces only work for Lady Gaga, not you. The five C's are reasonable and I'm sticking to them. The ball is in your court now, if you're willing to play.
The End.
Cigarettes: If you're the type of motherfucker that likes to light up it won't matter how nice you are, if you don't quit then you and I are not a fit, so get the fuck out.
Children: if you're the type of motherfucker who does not foresee having kids in your future then I'm sorry to say my ovaries have no room for you. Plus, with the deal breaker above, you ain't smoking around my kids, so get the fuck out.
Cunnilingus: now, here's a major deal breaker, if you're the type of motherfucker that refuses to go down on your girl, or refuses to do it how she likes, then Certainly with a capital C we ain't ever gonna be, so get the fuuuuuuuuuuuuck out.
Cheating: If you're a dumbass motherfucker trying to play the field like you at the super bowl, bragging about how many women you can string up then you better believe I'll be shanking the shit out of you, so do me a favor and get the fuck out and make room for the non-cheating people. Thank you!
failure to comply to these simple, and doable rule is grounds for automatic disqualification, this means whatever game you think you were playing, you ain't playing anymore, and don't try to play your cards with a bluff because poker faces only work for Lady Gaga, not you. The five C's are reasonable and I'm sticking to them. The ball is in your court now, if you're willing to play.
The End.
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